1. A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8.00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house.
“Darling, I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary and we’ve been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock”.
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said,
“You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!
2. There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed to into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified
to see the most ugly child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and told her there was no way he could be the father of that child.
“Look at the two daughters I fathered!” he said. Then he gave the wife a stern look and asked,
“Have you been fooling around on me?”
The wife just smiled sweetly and said “Not this time!”
3. A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off, to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Johnson, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Johnson had the longest private part he had ever seen!
“I’m sorry Mr. Johnson”, said the mortician, “but I can’t send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity”.
With that, the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man’s private part. He stuffed it into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife.
“I have something to show you that you won’t believe”, he said and opened up his briefcase.
“Oh my God! Johnson is dead? the wife screamed.
4. A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
“Hurry”, she said, “stand in the corner”. Then she quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then dusted him with talcum powder.
“Don’t move until I tell you to”, she whispered to him. “Just pretend you’re statue.
“What’s this honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.
“Oh, it’s a statue”, she replied nonchalantly. “The Taylors bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much; I got one for us too.
No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
“Here”, he said to the statue, “eat something, I stood like an idiot at the Taylors for a whole night and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water”.
5. Alex was dying. His wife Ann was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
“Ann my darling”, he whispered.
“Hush my love”, she said. “Rest, don’t talk”. He was insistent.
“Ann”, he said in his tired voice, “I have something that I must confess”.
“There’s nothing to confess”, replied the weeping Ann.
“Everything’s all right, go to sleep” she said.
“No, no. I must die in peace, Ann. I slept with your sister, your best friend. her best friend and your mother!”
“I know my sweetheart. That was why I poisoned you” whispered Ann. “Let the poison work”
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
KEYS TO GREAT RELATIONSHIPS.
1. HONESTY: We have to be completely honest in all of our affairs not only with our loved ones, but with ourselves. Always we need to check our motives in any thing we do that could affect our loved ones and their well being. We need to be on guard for self-centeredness, self-seeking as opposed to self-caring and self worth. Nothing will destroy our loved ones’ trust and erase the foundation of love quicker than a person who lies or cheats. Being able to be truthful even when we know that the truth will hurt sometimes is what matters; that our loved one will be truthful and trustworthy is the tie that binds us.
2. ADD TO IT: We need to go into any new relationship with the idea that we can add to that other person's life to give all of ourselves to them with no reserve, not being self-seeking and selfish in our needs and wants, the real definition of love is the caring and nurturing of one another's well being and spiritual growth. Not what you can get out of it, but what you can give to it. Too many times people are like some streets named... “ONE WAY” only.
3 NO EXPECTATIONS: Here again we have to learn to accept our mates as they are, not who we want them to be. We like them for their good qualities, but loving them for their defects is true love. Change in a person is an inside job and only God has that power to grant the change. We must be able to take the good with the bad and vice versa, nobody is perfect let them be who they are and don't expect them to be anyone else, or we will always live with disappointments for a companion.
4 DON'T KEEP SCORE: Avoid keeping scores at all cost. Forgive and forget. Get over and get rid of any resentments or they will destroy a relationship. Arguments over money or children and using retaliation to punish or get back for any injury to our feelings or pride and ego will upset the apple cart. This spiritual illness will snowball all the way to parting of ways and thereafter, then after it all, you will discover there is no winner, only two lonely losers are now left.
5 TRUST IN GOD: The most beautiful relationships survive and grow because God was invited into them. If God can get you to it, He can get you through it, the shortest distance between a problem and a solution, is the same distance between your knees and the floor. When we bow before God we can stand before any man or woman. Trust in the Lord and He will bless your love and keep you whole. Talk to each other and share this commitment to honor our Father and use His divine guidance.
Sincerely yours.
2. ADD TO IT: We need to go into any new relationship with the idea that we can add to that other person's life to give all of ourselves to them with no reserve, not being self-seeking and selfish in our needs and wants, the real definition of love is the caring and nurturing of one another's well being and spiritual growth. Not what you can get out of it, but what you can give to it. Too many times people are like some streets named... “ONE WAY” only.
3 NO EXPECTATIONS: Here again we have to learn to accept our mates as they are, not who we want them to be. We like them for their good qualities, but loving them for their defects is true love. Change in a person is an inside job and only God has that power to grant the change. We must be able to take the good with the bad and vice versa, nobody is perfect let them be who they are and don't expect them to be anyone else, or we will always live with disappointments for a companion.
4 DON'T KEEP SCORE: Avoid keeping scores at all cost. Forgive and forget. Get over and get rid of any resentments or they will destroy a relationship. Arguments over money or children and using retaliation to punish or get back for any injury to our feelings or pride and ego will upset the apple cart. This spiritual illness will snowball all the way to parting of ways and thereafter, then after it all, you will discover there is no winner, only two lonely losers are now left.
5 TRUST IN GOD: The most beautiful relationships survive and grow because God was invited into them. If God can get you to it, He can get you through it, the shortest distance between a problem and a solution, is the same distance between your knees and the floor. When we bow before God we can stand before any man or woman. Trust in the Lord and He will bless your love and keep you whole. Talk to each other and share this commitment to honor our Father and use His divine guidance.
Sincerely yours.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
SAY NO TO VICES.
The level of moral decadence in our society has reached a point where folding our arms and watching the events as they unfold will definitely be inimical to our well being that of the generations yet unborn. Day-in-day- out, our news media is awash with stories of people involved in one form of atrocity or the other. Sadly enough the trend continues unabated. It is rather escalating with more sophistication courtesy of advancing technology. Most people are involved in all kinds of vices without considering the effects of their nefarious activities on their fellow citizens who chose to tread the path of honour. Ironically these honourable ones are being made to suffer humiliation, terrorism, poverty and all such unpalatable consequences. The situation is pathetic as it involves people of all races and colour.
Corruption is rampant in both private and public organizations. It is the order of the day for people to cut corners and breach the trust reposed in them by their employers and the society just to satisfy their inordinate ambitions and insatiable desire for the pleasures of the world. Cases of electoral malpractices ranging from election rigging to results falsification and outright theft of ballot boxes characterized some nations’ electoral processes. Political office holders at all levels have jettisoned their statutory roles and responsibilities, instead they are leaving no stone unturned in amassing wealth through the indiscriminate plundering of the commonwealth of their countries which they siphon to other places through their family members, cronies and foreign collaborators.
Most of the youths who are the leaders of tomorrow have become criminals. If they are not on the internet looking for people to scam under false pretences, they are busy kidnapping, robbing or planning how to undertake suicide bombing. All the websites created for social networking have been turned by the people to avenues to defraud their fellow men locally and internationally. Elsewhere youths are being trained in the art of terrorism under the guise of religion fundamentalism. The craze to reap where they did not sow has turned many people to swindlers, pirates, fraudsters and the like. They fabricate all manners of lies to dupe unsuspecting but oftentimes gullible individuals and corporate bodies who found their offers irresistible.
Able-bodied men and women who are supposed to engage in productive ventures and shore their respective nations GDP are involved in illicit trades like drug peddling, money laundering, child trafficking and other criminal activities like thuggery, cultism, armed robbery, militancy and senseless assassination of fellow human beings. The female ones are struggling to outdo one another in prostitution with alarming recklessness. Our ladies mode of dressing under the guise of civilization is gradually drawing us back to the Stone Age when people only cover their private parts apparently to prevent dust from entering into their bodies and leave the rest of the body uncovered.
Human rights violations from people in authority and those being paid to enforce law and safeguard the society are common phenomenon. Governments, the military, police and Para-military agents indulge in unlawful acts and often times in extrajudicial killings of fellow human beings through senseless wars, civil strife etc usually on flimsy excuses. Such Governments through maladministration are responsible for the pestilence and abject poverty confronting their people.
Those who are battering the image of humanity and those who have turned themselves into agents of destruction and made the world unsafe are all culpable as they have the freewill to choose between good and bad. I believe that through proper orientation, we can instill in people, the right attitude to living a normal and decent life. I whole heartedly desire that people should change their ways of life to make the world a better place for all of us. I call on individuals, corporate bodies, governments and non-governmental organizations to rise up to the challenge of sensitizing the populace of the negative effects of social, economic and political vices. Let us all seek to make our fellow citizens to conform to God’s standard and internationally acceptable code of conduct. The whole world needs a complete culture change.
Last line: “those to whom peace is no more than a dream are asleep to the future”….author unknown.
Stay tuned to this site for more thought provoking posts.
Sincerely yours.
Corruption is rampant in both private and public organizations. It is the order of the day for people to cut corners and breach the trust reposed in them by their employers and the society just to satisfy their inordinate ambitions and insatiable desire for the pleasures of the world. Cases of electoral malpractices ranging from election rigging to results falsification and outright theft of ballot boxes characterized some nations’ electoral processes. Political office holders at all levels have jettisoned their statutory roles and responsibilities, instead they are leaving no stone unturned in amassing wealth through the indiscriminate plundering of the commonwealth of their countries which they siphon to other places through their family members, cronies and foreign collaborators.
Most of the youths who are the leaders of tomorrow have become criminals. If they are not on the internet looking for people to scam under false pretences, they are busy kidnapping, robbing or planning how to undertake suicide bombing. All the websites created for social networking have been turned by the people to avenues to defraud their fellow men locally and internationally. Elsewhere youths are being trained in the art of terrorism under the guise of religion fundamentalism. The craze to reap where they did not sow has turned many people to swindlers, pirates, fraudsters and the like. They fabricate all manners of lies to dupe unsuspecting but oftentimes gullible individuals and corporate bodies who found their offers irresistible.
Able-bodied men and women who are supposed to engage in productive ventures and shore their respective nations GDP are involved in illicit trades like drug peddling, money laundering, child trafficking and other criminal activities like thuggery, cultism, armed robbery, militancy and senseless assassination of fellow human beings. The female ones are struggling to outdo one another in prostitution with alarming recklessness. Our ladies mode of dressing under the guise of civilization is gradually drawing us back to the Stone Age when people only cover their private parts apparently to prevent dust from entering into their bodies and leave the rest of the body uncovered.
Human rights violations from people in authority and those being paid to enforce law and safeguard the society are common phenomenon. Governments, the military, police and Para-military agents indulge in unlawful acts and often times in extrajudicial killings of fellow human beings through senseless wars, civil strife etc usually on flimsy excuses. Such Governments through maladministration are responsible for the pestilence and abject poverty confronting their people.
Those who are battering the image of humanity and those who have turned themselves into agents of destruction and made the world unsafe are all culpable as they have the freewill to choose between good and bad. I believe that through proper orientation, we can instill in people, the right attitude to living a normal and decent life. I whole heartedly desire that people should change their ways of life to make the world a better place for all of us. I call on individuals, corporate bodies, governments and non-governmental organizations to rise up to the challenge of sensitizing the populace of the negative effects of social, economic and political vices. Let us all seek to make our fellow citizens to conform to God’s standard and internationally acceptable code of conduct. The whole world needs a complete culture change.
Last line: “those to whom peace is no more than a dream are asleep to the future”….author unknown.
Stay tuned to this site for more thought provoking posts.
Sincerely yours.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
SELF EMPLOYMENT OPTIONS.
Are you unemployed and looking for a job or career you can undertake on your
own for a sustainable future? Are you a fresh or stale graduate, a school
leaver or an employed fellow desirous of starting your own business and stop
chasing jobs that are not there or free yourself from being tied down to a job that is no longer fulfilling? There is a way for you. I have over the years compiled a list of jobs and careers that an average person can undertake with little or no startup capital, which I will be sharing with the public on this site. They are real, legitimate and practical. They are jobs that you might have come across or hear about in the past but which you did not take serious.
Before we go further, it is pertinent to let you into my personality so that you will have an idea of the person you are dealing with and thus be rest assured that you are in for a great deal by keeping a date with this site.
I am a man in my 40s, I am educated up to first degree level and I worked in one of the first generation Banks in Nigeria for 20 years (yes 20 solid years) before I voluntarily retired to start my own business. I nursed the idea of being on my own for the last 10 years of my sojourn in the Bank. It happened that I just became tired of the status quo. The desire to try my hands on a business of my own grew over the years that I had great passion for self employment.
Not that I was not good at my job in the bank. In fact I was a toast of my bosses and colleagues as well as the bank’s customers in view of my dedication to duty, diligence and top of the range performance. I did not also have any financial problem as I was being paid a fairly good salary (you know Bankers are among the best paid in the world ) and above this, I regularly earn extra allowances for being the “engine room” in all the branches I worked. It will interest you to know that my hard work and excellent knowledge of the job earned me steady promotion. I was the Head of the last few branches I served in the bank.
When my passion for self employment became an obsession, I threw in the towel and took my destiny in my own hands. The fear of the unknown and some other feelings which hitherto held me down gave way to a strong determination to succeed and I began to swim in the ocean of uncertainty which characterized the business climate.
In the past few years, I have tried my hands on several things, made several mistakes and discovered so many things which could not be discovered except one is personally involved and with a discerning mind. The determination to succeed propelled me to carry out extensive research on ways to survive. To the glory of God I have found a means of livelihood which have been meeting my needs and which posses the potential to make me one of the greatest men that ever lived on this planet.
The result of my efforts is what I am about to share with you. As I always reiterate, the ideas I am going to reveal to you are practical, real, legitimate, legal and can be taken up by anybody with strong determination to succeed. They are not “out of the world” ideas neither are they novel ideas that have not been practiced before. You will be surprised that they are things you are familiar with but which you did not pay attention to either because you are already employed and are not ready to leave your comfort zone or you do not see any potential in them as you lack the required skills, or you are unemployed but your mind is fixed at getting a white collar job in a bank, multinational, oil and gas company or other high paying industries rather than being self employed. The bitter truth however is that there are very few job openings and even those in employments other than their own will one day leave the job.
Thank you for your patience in reading through this mail.
Together we shall succeed (Amen).
Sincerely yours.
own for a sustainable future? Are you a fresh or stale graduate, a school
leaver or an employed fellow desirous of starting your own business and stop
chasing jobs that are not there or free yourself from being tied down to a job that is no longer fulfilling? There is a way for you. I have over the years compiled a list of jobs and careers that an average person can undertake with little or no startup capital, which I will be sharing with the public on this site. They are real, legitimate and practical. They are jobs that you might have come across or hear about in the past but which you did not take serious.
Before we go further, it is pertinent to let you into my personality so that you will have an idea of the person you are dealing with and thus be rest assured that you are in for a great deal by keeping a date with this site.
I am a man in my 40s, I am educated up to first degree level and I worked in one of the first generation Banks in Nigeria for 20 years (yes 20 solid years) before I voluntarily retired to start my own business. I nursed the idea of being on my own for the last 10 years of my sojourn in the Bank. It happened that I just became tired of the status quo. The desire to try my hands on a business of my own grew over the years that I had great passion for self employment.
Not that I was not good at my job in the bank. In fact I was a toast of my bosses and colleagues as well as the bank’s customers in view of my dedication to duty, diligence and top of the range performance. I did not also have any financial problem as I was being paid a fairly good salary (you know Bankers are among the best paid in the world ) and above this, I regularly earn extra allowances for being the “engine room” in all the branches I worked. It will interest you to know that my hard work and excellent knowledge of the job earned me steady promotion. I was the Head of the last few branches I served in the bank.
When my passion for self employment became an obsession, I threw in the towel and took my destiny in my own hands. The fear of the unknown and some other feelings which hitherto held me down gave way to a strong determination to succeed and I began to swim in the ocean of uncertainty which characterized the business climate.
In the past few years, I have tried my hands on several things, made several mistakes and discovered so many things which could not be discovered except one is personally involved and with a discerning mind. The determination to succeed propelled me to carry out extensive research on ways to survive. To the glory of God I have found a means of livelihood which have been meeting my needs and which posses the potential to make me one of the greatest men that ever lived on this planet.
The result of my efforts is what I am about to share with you. As I always reiterate, the ideas I am going to reveal to you are practical, real, legitimate, legal and can be taken up by anybody with strong determination to succeed. They are not “out of the world” ideas neither are they novel ideas that have not been practiced before. You will be surprised that they are things you are familiar with but which you did not pay attention to either because you are already employed and are not ready to leave your comfort zone or you do not see any potential in them as you lack the required skills, or you are unemployed but your mind is fixed at getting a white collar job in a bank, multinational, oil and gas company or other high paying industries rather than being self employed. The bitter truth however is that there are very few job openings and even those in employments other than their own will one day leave the job.
Thank you for your patience in reading through this mail.
Together we shall succeed (Amen).
Sincerely yours.
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